Turn That Frown Upside Down

Dear Noah,
We could have sworn you said the Ark wasn't leaving till 5.

Sincerely,
Unicorns

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Dear Icebergs,

Sorry to hear about the global warming. Karma's a bitch.

Sincerely,
The Titanic

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Dear America,
You produced Miley Cyrus. Bieber is your punishment.

Sincerely,
Canada

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Dear Yahoo,
I've never heard anyone say, "I don't know, let's Yahoo! it..." just saying...

Sincerely,
Google

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Dear 2010,
So I hear the best rapper is white and the president is black? WTF happened?

Sincerely,
1985

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Dear girls who have been dumped,
There are plenty of fish in the sea... Just kidding! They're mostly dead.

Sincerely,
BP Oil

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Dear Saturn,
I liked it, so I put a ring on it.

Sincerely,
God

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Dear Fox News,
So far, no news about foxes.

Sincerely,
Unimpressed

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Dear jf;ldsfa/kvsmmklnn,
Please lknvfdmv.xvn.

Sincerely,
Stevie Wonder

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Dear Skin-Colored Band Aids,
Please make one for every skin color.

Sincerely,
Black people

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Dear Scissors,
I feel your pain.....no one wants to run with me either.

Sincerely,
Sarah Palin

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Dear World of Warcraft,
Thank you for ensuring my son's virginity.

Sincerely,
Parents Everywhere

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Dear Customers,
Yes, we ARE making fun of you in Vietnamese.

Sincerely,

Nail Salon Ladies

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Dear Ugly People,
You're welcome.

Sincerely,
Alcohol

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Dear World,
Please stop freaking out about 2012. Our calendar ends there because some Spanish dirtbags invaded our country and we got a little busy ok?

Sincerely,
The Mayans

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Dear White People,
Don't you just hate immigrants?

Sincerely,
Native Americans

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Dear iPhone,
Please stop spellchecking all of my rude words into nice words. You piece of shut.

Sincerely,
Every iPhone User