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| Source:lovesagame.com |
I have a few silly fears. Wikipedia describes fear as follows (excerpted version):
External fear is caused by something outside or inside of you which you are strongly motivated to avoid, for example: fear of spiders.
Internal fear is something inside of you that you link a negative emotion, for example: fear developed out of low self esteem.
- Fear is widely considered to be the worst emotion of all, it varies from mild caution to extreme phobia and paranoia. Fear is related to a number of additional cognitive and emotional states including worry, anxiety, terror, horror, panic and dread. Experiences of fear can remain long after exposure in the unconscious mind, where they may then manifest as nightmares, or, in an even stronger form, night terrors. Fear may also be experienced within a larger group or social network, and may be compounded by social influence and become mass hysteria. Some pathologies related to fear (defined by persistent and irrational fears) can include different types of anxiety disorder which are very common, and also other more severe illnesses like the extreme phase of bipolar disorder and some kinds of schizophrenia.
This description makes sense but it is a bit too scientific for me. Here are my fears, in no particular order. You be the Judge Judy.
Warning: As I write about my fears I get all hyperventilated and anxious. My writing may not be as top notch as I probably won't want to edit and re-edit. Okay? And limited images to accompany each fear... sorry... because I don't want to pass out. I'm about to pass out right now just thinking about this.
Fear of circular patterns (ex. honeycombs, potholes, soil at the bottom of a plant pot, little pebbles stuck in between the soles of my running shoes, holes in the sand, dirt)
I am not 100% sure where this comes from but I am going to take a guess. When I was a child growing up in a third world country, my school bus used to go past a particular area where it was dirty with a lot of potholes. It freaks me out. I also remember having to use a dirty ass washroom in one of my in-between houses when my parents were out of the country working and I was being taken care of by a gangsta uncle. It sucks. I hate it. I can't write about this fear anymore.
Fear of anything Catholic-ish, conservative evangelical Protestantism and zealot religious stuff (ex. exorcisms, religious icons and paintings depicting suffering and hell, stigmata, fanatics in the deep South bible belt)
I was raised as a Catholic and went to catholic schools my whole life. I'm sure my fear (abhorrence) stems from this because we were always made to feel guilty and scared about everything. Needless to say I stopped practicing awhile back.
Remember this guy? Wouldn't it be nice to have him as your neighbour?
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| Source:fanpop.com |
Anyway, I don't loathe all organized religions. I'm a big fan of Buddhism and Taoism fundamental belief system and consider myself a spiritual person very much aware of the out of control ego/id/superego. I know there is something out there higher than the physical plane.
There's a book from Stuart Wilde called Infinite Self and reading it changed my life in 1999. I am not exaggerating here. If you read it, it may just change your life as well.
Fear of evil malicious spirits, human or non-human.
I am not afraid of dying itself as I know that it's part of the universal cycle. It will be interesting to find out what is on the other side (aka the non-physical plane or not the world as we know it).
What creeps me out is that I am very much aware and hypersensitive about energy emitted by people, places and things. I can walk into a room and can immediately sense if something is a amiss. Ditto for people.
It's creepy because most of the time I want to be blissfully ignorant of my surroundings, but it's just not in my DNA. I don't see dead people like Cole in the Sixth Sense (M.Knight's only good movie and he should stop trying to top it - exit with flare M.Knight!).
But I can definitely feel and sense all sorts of energy. I can tell what a person is about in less than 30 seconds of meeting them for the first time. I feel it when a place or a thing is bad news.
Bad feelings are not good.
Fear of people.
Clarification - I don't fear people, I would just prefer not to be around them so much. I am bombarded by people all day in my professional life. I value solitude. Or triaging who I need to spend time with.
If I were Chuck (Tom Hanks) in Castaway, I wouldn't have needed a Wilson.
How about you, what do you fear?
